Fall Season and it "Shows"

People have been pushing me real hard to watch "Flash Forward" and "Glee," while I have seen some of these shows and they are good and all, I just do not think I can continuously watch them. y now it is just a fact, we cannot watch every movie ever made, every tv show, read every book, yet some of us try. I just need to know what I can get out of it. I have already watched a lot of comedies; and Glee has some uniquely funny moments, but it makes me feel strange, almost sick when I watch it. Flash forward has something off about it, its trying to hard. Yet I could continue to watch these shows, and many others, despite any flaws. I watch several shows with flaws, so it comes up why do I not watch them?

I used to tell and push people to watch television shows but for the most part I have stopped, (I still do with Lost, hence the "for the most part.") I am back in school now, working around 20 hours a week. I try to draw and paint, and play guitar, and . . . Then I also try to have a social life. Not to mention the time I spend with my family. Two hours a week becomes a lot, a lot of time I don't have for hit and miss entertainment. The only time I really watch t.v. is about when I go to bed. When I do that, I want to watch an old favorite on DVD. (I invested money into my DVDs and now I need to see a return in my entertainment.) Even my DVD watching is at a minimum.

So why do I bring this up? As a former t.v. junky, I just want to say, it is great being on the outside. I no longer have a compulsive need or urge to be in a living room by such and such o'clock to see what funny quip House makes to his superior, or if Ted finally met his children's "Mother." (Plus now that I watch less t.v., I justify how bad it all is to myself, and I can see it as it really is. It is all awful for the most part.) So I am free, no longer anchored by the black glowing box, I can run, and breathe the fresh air of the world! Come join me friends, the air is sweet when you develop muscles enough to run!

2 Years is a funny time.

It is coming up two years from my divorce/separation. I remember when I was married I really was looking forward to my two year anniversary, but I never got to see it. I am still single after all this time. I have dated, but after I went through all the emotional states, (regret, anger, I cannot remember them all,) now I feel kind of empowered. You know how woman after they get over being out of a bad relationship, they become empowered. I feel like I am an empowered man. I miss having someone with me, just the companionship, knowing someone is there for me and everything, but that is just how we are designed as humans. However I enjoy the freedom I have. I don't have to report to anyone, (sometimes my Dad if I am away for periods of time since I live with him, fair is fair.) I don't go over my spendings with anyone else, my daily activities, no one regiments my life but me. If you ever do this with a person who you disagree with it is a terrible experience.

I love those books with titles like "Smart Woman who make bad Choices," but they are all aimed for a female audience. So I am working on a book "Smart Men who make bad Choices." I have to empower men! Viva La Revolucion!!! Okay, I am not planning a revolution, but just because I or others have made terrible mistakes in life it does not mean we are not intelligent or bad at relationships.

My therapists told me I should not beat myself up to bad, because it was all physiological/ chemical. I understand what he was saying but do not fully agree. I need to believe that I had a choice, even if it was a bad one. I am not just some puppet whose destiny is all drawn out thanks to biochemicals. I am more than that, I am thinking, changing and constantly evolving. I was head over heels for her and rushed into something that I should have waited longer to do. I get really freaked out when I see young people rush off to get married, it is risky, and in the long run painful. Anyway, I believe I made my choices, and I will continue to, but that my feelings have played a big part in what I have done. That is why I have been studying self-discipline, I have always felt that overcoming feelings was a more enlightened way of approaching things. Now I wish to practice it. (Perhaps another blog I will talk more about it, and my personal beliefs.)

Being empowered gives me a better idea of who I am, and who I want to be, which is a big part of becoming disciplined. I could not have done that in my previous relationship, and why I do not want to be in one right now. I do not know if I was in one, if I could continue to change and challenge me the way that I want to. To become the person I want to be. I know there appears to be a logic gap in there, but I am shortening the argument, don't worry about it.

Fortunately I have a lot of time I recon. I will take it all slow. I have another four to nine years of schooling, and I do not want to get married until I am way deeper into school, or more likely done with it all. I do not know what is in store for me, and what God has in my path. I will take all things in with consideration and council from Him. I have my plan, but as James Bond said, "Never say never."

Chaplin's Speech.

I deleted this post, but now I am bringing it back because someone told me they liked it. Anyway, one of my favorite movies is Charlie Chaplin's "The Great Dictator." It is a movie in where Charlie Chaplin pokes fun at Hitler. Hitler stole Chaplin's mustache to make him self look more the everyman. WWII was just picking up momentum when he made it. There is a more Prince and the Pauper storyline, with Chaplin playing dual roles, a jewish barber, and the Great Dictator. At the end, after the hate mongering dictator has taken another country, the Dictator and the Barber switch places. There is a speech given, and I love this speech. The text is good, but youtube it atleast after you read it, Chaplin's deliverance is amazing.

Here it is:

I'm sorry, but I don't want to be an emperor. That's not my business. I don't want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone, if possible, Jew, gentile, black man, white. We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each other's happiness — not by each other's misery. We don't want to hate and despise one another.
In this world there is room for everyone. And the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone. The way of life can be free and beautiful, but we have lost the way. Greed has poisoned men's souls, has barricaded the world with hate, has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed. We have developed speed, but we have shut ourselves in. Machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge has made us cynical. Our cleverness, hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery we need humanity. More than cleverness we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost.
Let us fight for a new world, a decent world that will give men a chance to work, that will give youth a future and old age a security.
The aeroplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in men (cries out for universal brotherhood) for the unity of us all. Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world — millions of despairing men, women and little children — victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people. To those who can hear me, I say — do not despair. The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed — the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress. The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people.
Soldiers! Don't give yourselves to brutes — men who despise you — enslave you — who regiment your lives — tell you what to do — what to think and what to feel! Who drill you — diet you — treat you like cattle, use you as cannon fodder. Don't give yourselves to these unnatural men — machine men with machine minds and machine hearts! You are not machines! You are not cattle! You are men! You have the love of humanity in your heart.
You don't hate! Only the unloved hate — the unloved and the unnatural! Soldiers! Don't fight for slavery! Fight for liberty! In the 17th Chapter of St. Luke it is written: "the Kingdom of God is within man" — not one man nor a group of men, but in all men! In you! You, the people have the power — the power to create machines. The power to create happiness! You, the people, have the power to make this life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure.
Then, in the name of democracy, let us use that power! Let us all unite! Let us fight for a new world, a decent world that will give men a chance to work, that will give youth a future and old age security. By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power, but they lie! They do not fulfill their promise; they never will. Dictators free themselves, but they enslave the people! Now, let us fight to fulfill that promise! Let us fight to free the world, to do away with national barriers, to do away with greed, with hate and intolerance. Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to all men's happiness.
Soldiers! In the name of democracy, let us all unite!
Hannah, can you hear me? Wherever you are, look up, Hannah. The clouds are lifting. The sun is breaking through. We are coming out of the darkness into the light. We are coming into a new world, a kindlier world, where men will rise above their hate, their greed and brutality.
Look up, Hannah. The soul of man has been given wings, and at last he is beginning to fly. He is flying into the rainbow — into the light of hope, into the future, the glorious future that belongs to you, to me and to all of us. Look up, Hannah. Look up.

Hannah, the person the Barber is addressing, is his love interest. They get separated in the movie, and his goal is for him and her to be reunited. The speech in the movie is being broadcasted over the radio, and he is hoping she can hear him.

John

5 of my Top Movies

Some people, you know who you are, demanded that I post this. This is part of my ever changing lineup of top movies. Here are my top 5 with their reasons for being on the list, (the ever encompassing lineup is destined to change at any given moment.)

5.) Unbreakable - When this movie came out, people did not like it. I loved it however, and thought that the director M. Night Shyamlan topped his first big film. Great acting on everyone's part, and great writing. I wish more movies would take a slower pace like this film, and use long scenes in one take rather than music video editing.

4.) Duck Soup - The only true comedy on my list is the Marx Brothers war movie. It has no political agenda, but at it's release people thought it was. The plot is the neighboring country to Freedonia wants to go to war with them, but is held up by their sarcastic and somewhat inept leader Rufus T. Firefly. It is full of bumbling spies, and the worst diplomacy you will ever see. I really believe the Marx Brothers were way ahead of their time. If you have never seen one of their films, you should seriously go rent them. When Groucho Marx, ( who plays Rufus T Firefly,) was asked to explain the movies title, he said "Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup the rest of your life."

3.) The 12 Monkeys - I love dark sci fi movies that explore the darker elements of humanity, and put the heroes through a world of pain. Maybe that is how I see myself. Psychological movies always get me, and this one is great. Bruce Willis plays a time traveller who begins to doubt his mission and whether he is trully time travelling or just delsional.

2.) The Last Crusade - The best Spielberg film in my opinion and in his as well. It is a perfect film in my opinion because of the character developement, and plotting, then is full of action and humor that we all want from our popcorn films. Sean Connery is awesome as Indy's dad as the two search for the holy grail.

1.) Vertigo - The movie I put at number one is Alfred Hitchcock's adaptation of a french book entitled "Among the dead," starring Jimmy Stewart. Stewart plays a retired cop who suffers vertigo after an accident takes another officers life. He is contacted by an old friend to follow his wife whom is acting suspicious, which makes Stewart's character begin to believe that the occult to be involved. It is a long thriller, and is not for everyone, not because of the content, but it is slow, which is part of why I like it so much. I have watched it with a lot of people whom have fallen asleep. The plot is winding, taking us in different directions. It plays off of Jimmy Stewart's damaged mind, and his obsessions, (a theme I love and enjoy in movies.) It is set in San Francisco, what is a beautiful city, so there is a lot of "I know where that is!!!" for me. This is one if you ever want to watch it let me know, I will watch it with you.

So there you go. My top movies, most of these have been floating around up there for a long time, but they change around a lot.

Inconvenience

So I was working a side walk sale at work. Lots a merchandise was outside of the store, and all of it had to come in before we could close the doors. There was a lot of people shopping until well after we had to close the doors, often the line was long towards the register. There were two people that were cashiering, and I was one of them, as well as being the only manager on duty after 7. Everyone wants to talk to the manager. Plus I had to make sure all the employees were doing something productive. So, needless to say I was stretched out.

I can tell you right now, when you are in the service industry, you can tell which customers have never worked in the field, because they are the biggest jerks. Perhaps they even have Napoleon complexes, this I know not. They try to bully us around to get a rise. Several people all day were trying to get discounts that they did not deserve, and cheat us out of money. If you have never worked in a retail store, and you think that a pair of Nikes are only 5 or ten dollars in worth after manufacturing, then you are naive. You forget all the people that are involved in the shipping, making, distributing, on Nike's end, and then everyone on our end. All the management, sales, etc., from the company that made the shoe, and the company selling it. Several mouths are fed from one pair of shoe, so please don't steal or try to cheat us out of one pair of shoes. Several people tried, and did accomplish. The heat wore me down, and being stretched thin, people that tried to carry on the argument for too long I gave into, believe me I would not do it again.

I tried to drinking plenty of water all day long, but the amount of Gatorade I drank, (full of salt,) and the caffeine from the excedrine, dehydrated me ultimately. I get migraines when I get dehydrated. Uncomfortable, annoying things. If you have never had them, you are incredibly lucky, and should thank God quite literally. I would rather suffer through a broken arm again than a migraine. Plus on top of all this, the migraine was making me naseous. So I wanted to puke at any moment.

But when you are the boss, DUTY CALLS! So I trudged on through the battlefields, denying this, approving that, yelling at slack employees, talking to senior managers on the phone, making sure everything ran as clockwork, ( everything was a slow clock last night.)

Now, let me get to the part that I have been obsessing over, and wished to right this about now. My work sells guns, if you did not know. There is a lot of legality involved, since guns are federally controlled, and they are dangerous, yet fun, devices. And they should be controlled, especially with our gang ridden streets. However, this requires a lot of paper, both at the time of sale, and release. It can take time, and when there is no time to spare, especially when you only have one cashier beside yourself, a line building up, and you are late in cleaning up.

So you can imagine my horror when I walked up to the gun counter and asked a man if he needed help, and he pulled out a pick up slip saying he needed his shotgun. Ten minutes to closing, and twenty minutes worth of paper work had appeared! I groaned and screamed inside, "How dare he!" I wanted to yell. Did he not see the anarchy of the trenches I am in. Does he not see the sweat and confusion my employees are piled under. I am there leader, and only I could rescue them. But this was customer service, and yelling is not advisable when the customer is always right. So I put my best foot forward, and did what any good soldier should do, remember my training.

Ah yes, my training, all those gun seminars I attended so long ago, and my manager who trained me. What did they all say, "lie." To tell them the that the place, ( I am vague for only security reasons, I do not wish to get my self in trouble with secrets I must not share, for I am bound by oath,) that the place of which we do our background checks are closed, and they will have to come back later. Yet, I felt that just to say that was not enough, no, to sell the lie, I would have to make it look like I tried, they would appreciate me more for it. It is not my fault that it is down, then I could go back to fighting the anarchy, and the recession, by bringing in the big bucks, and closing the store. I could not afford wasted time on this blasted paper work, when all I wanted was to go home, and soothe my aching head, which I could not do, NO, for it is against my solemn duty.

So I go into the office, sit down for a moment, I took it into myself, relaxed, and breathed out the anarchy. Then I arose and told them that I was sorry, but the system was down for the night, and if they could come back later.

Then what they told me would haunt me for the rest of the night. They said what an inconvenience this was for them, and how they wanted a percent of there transaction. It was not even that they wanted a percent off their transaction, but that it was an inconvenience. WHEN THEY CAME IN SO CLOSE TO CLOSING, WHEN EVERYTHING WAS SO CHAOTIC. The blinding selfishness in their eyes when they could not see what was going on. People are so cold, and inconsiderate. True they did not know of all my trevails, of my headache, but I could care less at that point if the gun was for shooting the invading aliens the next day, (when I picked my gun up, I did so in the middle of the day, so I was prepared,) there was work to be done. They had no right to say such a thing, for they had in fact, been an inconvenience on me, and taken me away from my staff.

(It is true that I do exagerrate how much my staff needed me, but not too far.)

We got the merchandise and all the customers out 15 minutes after we were supposed to close. We stayed late, ( the overtime would have been sweeter if I had not felt like drilling a hole in the side of my head to relieve the pressure,) and we worked hard all night. I say this so you know that I did not exaggerrate the work that needed to be done, and to further stress my point.

So please, try not to be an inconvenience to the customer service people that serve you. They are there, true, for you, however they are human beings to with stress levels, anger, and soft spots. If you were in there position what would you do. Do you really need those Air Jordans by tomorrows game? Do you really need that shotgun for tomorrows hunting trip? Just let it go, there are things in effect far bigger than you wherever you go, and late at night all the employees want to do is go home and go to bed. This is my plea.

I bid you Adieu.

John Gifford