It is coming up two years from my divorce/separation. I remember when I was married I really was looking forward to my two year anniversary, but I never got to see it. I am still single after all this time. I have dated, but after I went through all the emotional states, (regret, anger, I cannot remember them all,) now I feel kind of empowered. You know how woman after they get over being out of a bad relationship, they become empowered. I feel like I am an empowered man. I miss having someone with me, just the companionship, knowing someone is there for me and everything, but that is just how we are designed as humans. However I enjoy the freedom I have. I don't have to report to anyone, (sometimes my Dad if I am away for periods of time since I live with him, fair is fair.) I don't go over my spendings with anyone else, my daily activities, no one regiments my life but me. If you ever do this with a person who you disagree with it is a terrible experience.
I love those books with titles like "Smart Woman who make bad Choices," but they are all aimed for a female audience. So I am working on a book "Smart Men who make bad Choices." I have to empower men! Viva La Revolucion!!! Okay, I am not planning a revolution, but just because I or others have made terrible mistakes in life it does not mean we are not intelligent or bad at relationships.
My therapists told me I should not beat myself up to bad, because it was all physiological/ chemical. I understand what he was saying but do not fully agree. I need to believe that I had a choice, even if it was a bad one. I am not just some puppet whose destiny is all drawn out thanks to biochemicals. I am more than that, I am thinking, changing and constantly evolving. I was head over heels for her and rushed into something that I should have waited longer to do. I get really freaked out when I see young people rush off to get married, it is risky, and in the long run painful. Anyway, I believe I made my choices, and I will continue to, but that my feelings have played a big part in what I have done. That is why I have been studying self-discipline, I have always felt that overcoming feelings was a more enlightened way of approaching things. Now I wish to practice it. (Perhaps another blog I will talk more about it, and my personal beliefs.)
Being empowered gives me a better idea of who I am, and who I want to be, which is a big part of becoming disciplined. I could not have done that in my previous relationship, and why I do not want to be in one right now. I do not know if I was in one, if I could continue to change and challenge me the way that I want to. To become the person I want to be. I know there appears to be a logic gap in there, but I am shortening the argument, don't worry about it.
Fortunately I have a lot of time I recon. I will take it all slow. I have another four to nine years of schooling, and I do not want to get married until I am way deeper into school, or more likely done with it all. I do not know what is in store for me, and what God has in my path. I will take all things in with consideration and council from Him. I have my plan, but as James Bond said, "Never say never."
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Chaplin's Speech.
I deleted this post, but now I am bringing it back because someone told me they liked it. Anyway, one of my favorite movies is Charlie Chaplin's "The Great Dictator." It is a movie in where Charlie Chaplin pokes fun at Hitler. Hitler stole Chaplin's mustache to make him self look more the everyman. WWII was just picking up momentum when he made it. There is a more Prince and the Pauper storyline, with Chaplin playing dual roles, a jewish barber, and the Great Dictator. At the end, after the hate mongering dictator has taken another country, the Dictator and the Barber switch places. There is a speech given, and I love this speech. The text is good, but youtube it atleast after you read it, Chaplin's deliverance is amazing.
Here it is:
I'm sorry, but I don't want to be an emperor. That's not my business. I don't want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone, if possible, Jew, gentile, black man, white. We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each other's happiness — not by each other's misery. We don't want to hate and despise one another.
In this world there is room for everyone. And the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone. The way of life can be free and beautiful, but we have lost the way. Greed has poisoned men's souls, has barricaded the world with hate, has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed. We have developed speed, but we have shut ourselves in. Machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge has made us cynical. Our cleverness, hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery we need humanity. More than cleverness we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost.
Let us fight for a new world, a decent world that will give men a chance to work, that will give youth a future and old age a security.
The aeroplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in men (cries out for universal brotherhood) for the unity of us all. Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world — millions of despairing men, women and little children — victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people. To those who can hear me, I say — do not despair. The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed — the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress. The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people.
Soldiers! Don't give yourselves to brutes — men who despise you — enslave you — who regiment your lives — tell you what to do — what to think and what to feel! Who drill you — diet you — treat you like cattle, use you as cannon fodder. Don't give yourselves to these unnatural men — machine men with machine minds and machine hearts! You are not machines! You are not cattle! You are men! You have the love of humanity in your heart.
You don't hate! Only the unloved hate — the unloved and the unnatural! Soldiers! Don't fight for slavery! Fight for liberty! In the 17th Chapter of St. Luke it is written: "the Kingdom of God is within man" — not one man nor a group of men, but in all men! In you! You, the people have the power — the power to create machines. The power to create happiness! You, the people, have the power to make this life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure.
Then, in the name of democracy, let us use that power! Let us all unite! Let us fight for a new world, a decent world that will give men a chance to work, that will give youth a future and old age security. By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power, but they lie! They do not fulfill their promise; they never will. Dictators free themselves, but they enslave the people! Now, let us fight to fulfill that promise! Let us fight to free the world, to do away with national barriers, to do away with greed, with hate and intolerance. Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to all men's happiness.
Soldiers! In the name of democracy, let us all unite!
Hannah, can you hear me? Wherever you are, look up, Hannah. The clouds are lifting. The sun is breaking through. We are coming out of the darkness into the light. We are coming into a new world, a kindlier world, where men will rise above their hate, their greed and brutality.
Look up, Hannah. The soul of man has been given wings, and at last he is beginning to fly. He is flying into the rainbow — into the light of hope, into the future, the glorious future that belongs to you, to me and to all of us. Look up, Hannah. Look up.
Hannah, the person the Barber is addressing, is his love interest. They get separated in the movie, and his goal is for him and her to be reunited. The speech in the movie is being broadcasted over the radio, and he is hoping she can hear him.
John
Here it is:
I'm sorry, but I don't want to be an emperor. That's not my business. I don't want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone, if possible, Jew, gentile, black man, white. We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each other's happiness — not by each other's misery. We don't want to hate and despise one another.
In this world there is room for everyone. And the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone. The way of life can be free and beautiful, but we have lost the way. Greed has poisoned men's souls, has barricaded the world with hate, has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed. We have developed speed, but we have shut ourselves in. Machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge has made us cynical. Our cleverness, hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery we need humanity. More than cleverness we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost.
Let us fight for a new world, a decent world that will give men a chance to work, that will give youth a future and old age a security.
The aeroplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in men (cries out for universal brotherhood) for the unity of us all. Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world — millions of despairing men, women and little children — victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people. To those who can hear me, I say — do not despair. The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed — the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress. The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people.
Soldiers! Don't give yourselves to brutes — men who despise you — enslave you — who regiment your lives — tell you what to do — what to think and what to feel! Who drill you — diet you — treat you like cattle, use you as cannon fodder. Don't give yourselves to these unnatural men — machine men with machine minds and machine hearts! You are not machines! You are not cattle! You are men! You have the love of humanity in your heart.
You don't hate! Only the unloved hate — the unloved and the unnatural! Soldiers! Don't fight for slavery! Fight for liberty! In the 17th Chapter of St. Luke it is written: "the Kingdom of God is within man" — not one man nor a group of men, but in all men! In you! You, the people have the power — the power to create machines. The power to create happiness! You, the people, have the power to make this life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure.
Then, in the name of democracy, let us use that power! Let us all unite! Let us fight for a new world, a decent world that will give men a chance to work, that will give youth a future and old age security. By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power, but they lie! They do not fulfill their promise; they never will. Dictators free themselves, but they enslave the people! Now, let us fight to fulfill that promise! Let us fight to free the world, to do away with national barriers, to do away with greed, with hate and intolerance. Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to all men's happiness.
Soldiers! In the name of democracy, let us all unite!
Hannah, can you hear me? Wherever you are, look up, Hannah. The clouds are lifting. The sun is breaking through. We are coming out of the darkness into the light. We are coming into a new world, a kindlier world, where men will rise above their hate, their greed and brutality.
Look up, Hannah. The soul of man has been given wings, and at last he is beginning to fly. He is flying into the rainbow — into the light of hope, into the future, the glorious future that belongs to you, to me and to all of us. Look up, Hannah. Look up.
Hannah, the person the Barber is addressing, is his love interest. They get separated in the movie, and his goal is for him and her to be reunited. The speech in the movie is being broadcasted over the radio, and he is hoping she can hear him.
John
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