School, and my personal journey

So...as I prepare to transfer I am beginning to realize several things. About a year and a half ago I started a journey back to school. In this journey I wanted to find out who I was, and what I wanted. I felt that I used to know, but due to personal events in my life that it would be logical if things were to have changed in my life. I wanted to be an artist for most of my life, and that I wanted to be a family man/person. After a divorce, I thought perhaps I didn't want it like that anymore. So I took several classes and was drawn more and more toward psychology, and until recently I believed that is what I was going to do. Either that are go into the film business. Both require a certain personal sacrifice in the effort of the job.

Now, I am beginning to realize that I want to have a more artistic/creative job. I also do not know how long that I can wait to have a family, (granted it is largely out of my hands as I do not even have a girlfriend right now.) So because I wanted to better "understand" myself, I may have added another year or two onto my schedule.

In other words, I went on a journey and found that I should have been were I had started. Boo.

My Personal Philosophy Essay

My Philosophy

I was raised in a religious environment, my family belonging to the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and continue to still practice and keep the same faith. In my life and my faith I have had temptations and trials to lead me away. Arguments have been made to me that have been clear, valid, and logical, yet no matter how I feel during these moments that have been presented to me, I continue to come back. I have found truth in “Mormonism” as it is commonly referred to. I have not kept a closed mind in my own search for truth, but I have sought it out in all avenues as I can. The founder of my church, Joseph Smith, said “Have the Presbyterians any truth? Yes. Have the Baptists, Methodists, etc., any truth? Yes. They all have a little truth mixed with error. We should gather all the good and true principles in the world and treasure them up, or we shall not come out true “Mormons.” (Smith, 316) As hard as it is, I have always tried to gather the truth as much as I can. I believe that in the pursuit of truth I can become a better person, and align myself better with the will of God, and give myself greater joy than I could any other way.

There are principles that help me live my philosophy of life more fully. Humility is one such principle. It is one I often struggle with, but I know how important it is to be humble in order to find the truth and live a more righteous and happy life. I try to live with faith in my God, and that in the end things will work out all right no matter how it is at the time. Joy is a huge principle that I try to live by. I can have joy and not be happy, because I believe that joy comes through my actions. Whereas happiness occurs based of off independent actions outside my own realm, or happiness is just a fleeting element brought by petty things such as the novelty of a new toy I bought. Communication with God, as well as communication with myself are principles that cross paths. This can be done in meditation and prayer, but I also include my journal writing in this because often as I write my thoughts and ideas they are better known to me. Practice, I practice my religion through attendance and extra devotion outside of the chapel as well. Sacrifice is a big principle, sacrifice towards God and for my goals. If I cannot sacrifice in order to achieve something, then it shows both God and me that I do not want it. About all of my principles stem from my religion, but I try to carry them over in a way to all around better society.

My relationship with others is the thing that I have valued most in my life. Like Socrates I believe that there is a dualistic universe, that there is the material world in which we toil and an eternal spiritual world (Chaffee, 90). Therefore relationships that I have with others are the thing that I value most in my life, because I believe while much of the material world will fade away, the spirits of those close to me will not, and those relationships will be the only things I have in both worlds. My friends and my family mean everything to me. In my church we believe that through the use of a “sealing” ordinance that families can be together forever, making family relationships all the more meaningful. One day I hope to have a family of my own, and I try to make myself into the kind of a husband and father I think I should be. I have long balanced what matters more to me—my interpersonal relationships, or my own relationship with myself, being objective with my goals or being subjective with those that I love. Through trial and error in my life I have to believe that there is balance in between the two.

The first way to gain a greater sense of truth is to learn. To learn I attend school, church, I read books, and I listen to others as best as I can. John Locke says “All ideas come from sensation or reflection” (251), I have to agree. Not just the sensation of our bodily sense, but I believe that are spirits can “feel” as well, giving us a greater sense of our place in the universe. However, there are limitations to learning, and long ago I realized that in a lifetime no one can read all the books that one may want to. However, I continue to learn, regardless the fact that I cannot have absolute knowledge in this lifetime. The main way to learn is empirically, through our experiences. The experiences that I have had in my life mean more to me than anything that I have read, or heard from others. Yet learning from others is an invaluable resource for there are many situations that I cannot or have not had; such as: what is it to be like a woman, and I have never fought in a war. Therefore it is necessary for me to get a greater understanding by seeking out information from other sources.

Searching, and not just being passive, for truth is another action that I try to take on. Mohandas K. Gandhi entitled his autobiography “The Story of My Experiments with Truth.” I found it a rather curious title when I first saw it, but then realized that it was a fitting title. He wasn’t proclaiming it to be the truth, but an account of his experiences and what he had up to that point found to be true. Gandhi was one to search for the truth, and not be one to be stuck on a particular opinion. Early on he believed in certain Indians violently rebelling against the British regime, but as he progressed he obviously dropped that opinion and started his nonviolent resistance. Searching for truth means going into the world and putting ourselves into new situations, it also looking inward at our lives and events to try to interpret them. We can pray and meditate to do search, not just travel to foreign continents. The search for truth is a troubling path, and coincides with a path for personal growth. One cannot seek the truth and expect not to change.

Humility is both a principle and an action for myself. It is hard for one to search for truth when one thinks that they already have it. It has been said many times by different professors of religion and science that to be humble is to be teachable. When I have been proud in school I was stuck in my ways of thought and of doing things. For example a class was teaching a new way of note taking, but I was proud of my method and hesitant to change. I did try the method though, because I was humble enough that I wanted to know if it would work for me. While I no longer use that method, I still use some elements of it for improved study. Had I not of humbled myself, it wouldn’t have worked as well. I have heard Many preachers say that only God can humble us, but I believe that God gave us the ability to humble ourselves.

I understand a lot of what Jean Paul Sartre wrote about making choices, and living an ethical life, but I differ from him because I do believe in God, whereas he declared that there is no God (Chaffee, 172-182). God does play as a force in our lives to get us to do “good” and be on “righteous paths,” but he does not control us like a puppet master. Like a good parent, God understands that to make a great adult you cannot control him or her when they are still children, otherwise they become dependant. God wants us to do well, but to do it on our own, whether or not he is there. I am a compatabilist in my views of freedom versus determinism. I do believe that God has given us the freedom of choice. In my church we differ doctrinally from other Christian denominations in that we believe that our spirits were created before our bodies, and that we lived with God as spirits before this life. Like other Christian churches we do believe that this life is a test to prove not only to God but to ourselves that we can live with God again. Because this is a test, everything is not predetermined by God, giving us our agency to be accountable for our actions. We can choose to do or not to do several different things based on the knowledge we have and what we believe or feel to be right or wrong.

However, I have learned all to well that without self discipline we can loose our freedom of choice. Persons with substance abuses are the best examples that I can think of, in that they have surrendered their will to the pursuit of drugs and alcohol to obtain what they perceive to be happiness. They do not realize that with discipline they can find happiness in other areas of life that would give them more joy. The majority of actions that an addict will do are based upon obtaining and using drugs. Through self discipline, seeking knowledge, and truth we can rise above the things that will chain us down, and set ourselves free. From my own experiences I know that it is hard work to discipline and refine myself.

Jesus said “whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them” (Holy Bible, Matt 7:12). Everyone talks about the golden rule, and teaches it to children, yet in society few people truly follow this advice. Everyone is seeking out for their own: running red lights, embezzling money, graphitizing public spaces. Are these the cracks of society, or is society falling apart? Any society is dependant on its rules and those in it so follow them or else society will fall apart. I have tried to live by Jesus command and I know how hard it is. To truly master it, and be selfless, I believe it is something to aspire towards. In my search for truth I have followed some of Ayn Rand’s teachings, such as the idea of selfishness, and I believe she has some truth. For one to always be sacrificing is crazy, for one must look after ones own health and needs. However I cannot fully endorse everything that she says, for it is not evil and selfish to be altruistic (Chafee, 404-406). My own experiences have shown me that when I act on my own selfish desires ahead of those that I love that there does come a punishment, emotionally or otherwise. Therefore I need to be true to myself in my life, but live as ethically and altruistically as I can.

My goal is to find the truth, and align myself with it the best I can. Of course there is always the argument of what is the truth, and how do we interpret the truth. I don’t want to argue, I have long felt that arguing the nature of truth to be futile, rarely does anyone truly change what they believe or feel. Gandhi said “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” I have no delusion that I will have a total alignment, unless by a divine intervention, but it is the pursuit of that I am most interested in. Just because I do not have the fullness of truth does not mean that I should not act on what I do know, or what I perceive to be true. I cannot stop and become complacent in any action or any specific thought. While I have stayed with the same church my whole life, and plan on staying in the church, I still need take in as much as I can in order to find the truth and give myself greater joy.

Bibiography

Smith, Joseph Fielding, ed. Utah: Deseret Book Co., 1976. Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith.

Gandhi, Mohandas K. New York: Dover. 1983. Mohandas K. Ghandi Autobiography. The Story of my Experiments with Truth. Cover

Chaffee, John. New York: Pearson. 2011. The Philosophers Way.

Holy Bible: King James Version. United States: 1979.

Gandhi, Mahatma. Famous Quotes and Authors. 2 November 2010. http://www.famousquotesandauthors.com/authors/mahatma_gandhi_quotes.html